This project deals with the relation between sleep and a sleeping place. The bedroom as a place of rest is put into question. What does it mean to close one’s eyes and descend into sleep, a modus in which our physicality is left on its own. To find rest one has to come to peace with this loss and let go.
The project is accompanied by a writing that describes the inner struggle that keeps us awake. It is the tireless effort of our fear that keeps us from being reborn each morning. The design/space is the catalyst that brings us to the edge where sleeping is acceptance of temporary death in order to live again the next day. Read below.
A place to let go
How I came so far I don’t know. I wander. I’m a wanderer. No I’m not a wanderer, I’m a thinker but I get lost easily. I have walked this forest many times and I’m lost again. I need to rest. I need a place to mute my mind. Its dark now and my legs are getting soft. I walk slower and slower. This dark blue hue with moving shadows and invisible sounds is getting more vibrant with each new step. I need a place to lay my weary body and rest.
I keep walking and I’m lost. There it is, again. I don’t know who put it there and for what purpose. This uncertainty burdens my mind more and more. There it hovers, in darkness, mimicking the moon. The door is open. At least, that is what I endlessly have concluded. Somehow I know it was built for me. It’s always me, the moon and this floating room. But I’m tired and I need a place to breathe without fear.
There I stand again, in front of the door, looking at the handle. There are two doors on each side. They are identical. How then am I supposed to choose? I don’t know who built this but I know it’s for me. I blink in hope to reset my mind but it’s no use. I’m lost and I need a place to rest. The door is open. As it always has been. The little light that enters is just enough to see the first steps. I hesitate. I always hesitate, that’s how I get lost but I need to rest. The stairs are uncanningly soft. I don’t hear myself walking up the stairs. The walls are smooth. But I expect to cut my fingers any moment now. That’s why I’m always tired. The excruciating lingering expectations follow me everywhere. That’s why I’m always lost. The sounds from the room awaken me. I was not asleep I was only lost.
As I progress I can take a peak in the room. In front of me I see a blind curved wall of mesmerizing shadows. Again, the intertwined sounds from outside awaken me. How I came so far I don’t know. I’m a wanderer. I have walked this forest many times and I’m lost again. I need to rest. I’m inside now. On my sides, next to the entrance I see windows clad with mirrors. I only see the trees and the moon in reflection.
I’m alone. At least I think I am alone. I’m never sure. I walk towards the corners of this room, where the sounds come in. It’s no use, its pitch dark and the floor slopes down to the sides. Now I know, I will never know. The corners will always stay unknown. I don’t know who built this but I know it’s for me. Thinking tires me. I have been tired for a while. And there it is. In the middle of the room is my bed. Waiting for me. This is the place I lay my body to rest. It stands free in space, supported in the middle by a rod. My eyes are open. Finally I’m lying down. I have never been so tired. My body is comfortable but that is no use, because I’m still wandering.
I have walked this forest many times and I have been here many times. But now I’m too tired not to surrender. Here I lay, hovering in this enclosed space. Left and right sounds emerge from the dark corners. The curved wall shuffles the wandering sounds. At my back I have the gaping entrance with the steps leading outside. It’s the feeder of my hesitation. It always has been. In front of me I see a play of shadows. The windows reflect the dance of the trees in moonlight. I lose myself in these moving shadows. I’m alone here.
I’m inside, but I’m surrounded by reflections and refractions from outside. I know now. I walked this forest many times and now it’s time to rest. This place was always here. Built for me. Amidst the cacophony of uncertainties I am ready to be reborn. I’m tired of wandering. Finally, I have found a place to let go. I close my eyes and breathe out for the first time.
